Recently I had my dance and it wasn't that big a deal. I mean it could have been but the guy I wanted to take said no, though he was going with his cousin. Whatever, irrelevant. Basically life is kind of random and my life just suddenly to the weirdest dip. My friend met Boy and well...liked him. Boy used to be my best friend and that's something I'd give anything to have back, it's not that kind of soppy friendship, it was solid, like we could just sit there and get each other, like we could help eachother find answers.
But that isn't what's important right now. My friend wanted to take him to the dance, I guess you could kinda call her my New Best Friend. I agreed to help her because she was my friend but also because I did want to see him. He doesn't have a cell phone or a house phone or any kind of internet acess, the only way to reach him was his mum's cell phone. I phoned her and to cut a long story short, I didn't get to talk to him, not one word. He didn't end up comming of course. But he did tell everyone in his grade that he was going with me but then his parents wouldn't let him...supposedly. It's highly doubtful. I just asked...he said I asked him (which I didn't) and they assumed he would go. Happy Ending huh?
Anyway lately I've been feeling kind of in love with him all over again, maybe it's just the rose-coloured glass of nostalgia but I dunno. It's been years since we even spoke, well last april was the last time we saw eachother. I guess memories are powerful. The thing is, someone once told me that your first love is something you never really get over. But the real question is, was I in love with him?
Maybe all people want is to be wanted. To know that in some small way someone cares for them, someone who loves them even though they don't have to. Someone who loves them because they chose to. And if noone loves us because they chose to, then it's kind of telling about you, as a person. I've never had someone love me that much, I'm not sure I ever will. But perhaps I can take heart from the fact that I am, and have been, loved by many people who chose to love me and definately always will be. The rest may come sooner or later or never at all but I have more than most and less than only some.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment